C'est · la · Vie!

Headed out the door to run with Maggie, grabbed the MP3 player (notice I did NOT say Ipod, lol)...when I realized it was out of juice.

Curses! How on earth can I run without music??? But, I AM going to run, damn it. Suck it up.

And what a reward. I heard every little sound. The birds joyfully announcing the arrival of (almost) Spring. The rattle of a dry leaf pushed by the wind down the road. The roar of the UPS truck. The click of Maggie's nails on the concrete.

And above it all, the slap of my shoes hitting the pavement. And my heart beating, strongly.

I think I like this.

Once you rule out all the possibilities the only thing left is the impossible.

That's why I am pretty sure there is a ghost living in Maurice's house. He stays in M's bathroom, washes his hands and opens and closes cabinets. I run in there often to try and catch a glimpse - I am not successful but the sink is often wet.

I don't know why I know it's a him.

M cannot hear him. And anyway he mostly comes around when M is not here.

I'm not worried, I don't sense any animosity in this spirit.

Anyway I've been following this for quite a while and I THINK I've ruled out all the mundane possibilities. And anyway, I've always been a bit psychic. No, I did not say psycho...!

Is it a UFO or a weather balloon? Give me the UFO every time.

So I am being BUGGED TO DEATH by a so-called friend to write again. So I will try. I don't know where to start.

I lost myself somewhere. Was it work, was it Maurice, was it what. Who the fuck know.

There, I started, the page is no longer blank.

I LOVE the Olympics and wish they or the Tour de France could be on every night.

My life sucks in so many ways right now. But I know I am one of the lucky ones on the planet Earth.

I think I am depressed.

More later.

I also got a bottle of Secret Sauce. Yummm. I'll leave the rest to your dirty little minds.

Once upon a time, I lived with my roommate C in suburbian glory. Now my roommate is from West Texas and still at that time had a little leftover Jesus freak in him. He had a bible on his nightstand next to his bed. And in pride of place in the living room, an oval framed picture of the Last Supper.

I quickly adapted to Eating with Jesus each day, though I drew the line at the bible. But I had a good time poking fun at Big Hands Jesus (so named for the way his hands are spread out in benediction at the meal).

Once Maggie broke a window in the dining room. Maurice and I hid BHJ and told C that someone had broken and entered with the express purpose of stealing BHJ and ONLY BHJ. It made for a fun time.

Once we moved to the apartment it was not looking too good for BHJ - he just didn't fit the decor. But luckily, we managed to spare BJH by making his photo into a shrine of sorts. He now shares space with Shiva and Buddha to name a couple. Sort of a gathering of the gods if you will. He has some candles and incense if case you are Catholic.

So he's been promoted from a static piece of decor into what we consider sort of an intelligence test - we wait to see how quickly you spot the incongruities.

Anyway, here's to BHJ. And all his God Friends, too, even if they don't have Big Hands.

Big bags of food +
Big Dogs =

BIG POOPS

And at the apartment I have to pick it up while it is still steamy and fresh. UGG.

And it's bigger than my poop, I swear to GOD.

FIN.

It was a dark and cloudy night
But Maggie felt all right
Because she was running free
To see what she could see...

No, she did not flee, twas
my ex who set her free, to run
the golf course alone, not to far
from his home.

A hunter Maggie is, and vermin
should have fear, for she will
find and kill you be you far
or near.

Too bad her prey that eve did not
grant her a reprieve from the fate that
did await...

A bath with tomatoe juice was
the price for being loose. And
twas the ex who did the deed for
twas he who planted the seed.

I am telling myself it is OK. It is OK for me to mourn the end of my 20 year marriage. It is OK for me to mourn the loss of my knee and my running and my cycling and everything else for 6 months. It is OK to not be happy, for a little while.

My problem is I don't face these things and then I explode. But I guess that is normal behavior.

OK, going to a pool party now. Rock on.

So I got a new "do" - a Brazillian Keratin straightening,..NO IT IS NOT A STRAIGHTENING DOWN SOUTH LOL..>!

It's a hairdo, a straighteining process that lasts 2-4 months. TRES TRES COOL, I LOVE IT.

This is why I don't watch the news, generally. But I'm watching GMA while I work on my exercises and bike work.

So a tanning bed will kill me. A few years ago it was bacon. I think grilled meat was a big no no at one time too. Mon Dieu.

Hey, when my looks go, I'll be ready to go anyway.

So, I've BECOME Maurice. I have post it notes all over my suite in the apartment with to do lists.....

If you can't beat them, join them, lol.

Seriously, what did I do today? Well, I had two hours of PT (Physical Torture). IF I CAN GIVE YOU ONE PIECE OF ADVICE IT IS TO NOT MESS UP YOUR KNEE!!!
Seriously.


What else. I cooked in the apt for the first time...trailer trash food. Roast beef, potatoes and CANNED VEGETABLES. Yes, you read that right....that was what was available...and you know what, it was GOOD.

I only cook for love or for inspiration so in this case it must have been love.

It felt good to cook but not so good to not curl up with My Maurice afterwards....

He's been very helpful to me with all my problems recently but I still wish he were here. Was at the house tonight with Maggie, it's an empty shell.

Work continues. Life continues. Whether you like it or not ;-)

FIN.

So this will totally be about me.

last nite went to the Jazz Festival here with Maggie, How cool is it that we can WALK to do cool things...???

Maggie was SO well behaved. After a couple of days of being a "vrais salope"...missing Maurice sans doute...! She has really settled down and is behaving like an Ange:-(

Amyway, had a GREAT time and met some really interesting people!

Was in bed early so that I could be up earlu 6h30!! to see the last leg of the Tour. Evem though the last day by tradition no one trys to change the standings (and I am SORRY but it I were something like 30 seconds out I might have to ignore that!) it's still interesting as here is a certain cacht to win the Paris stage so there is some competition going on :-)

AFter taking Maggie out did 30 minutes on the bike while I was waiting to talk to my love. That was quite satisfying :-) (Both THINGS)

Rest of the day - work out, and then pool party, Once again met some interesting people. I do have to say that I WAS HOTTER THEN ABOUT 90% of the women there...age notwistanding....so I certainly got my share of attention....nice!!!

Should have done more but sure had a good time doing just a little bit., :-)

Maybe going to see Bruno with Kelsy and Jesse later. :-)

I am surviving!!

Dys 1-5

So...you all know my boyfriend is in Japan FOR A MONTH, RIGHT?? Actually 31 days, mon dieu!

So. He is writing a journal of his experiences...an activity I highly endorse and a habit I hope he acquired from me....:-) I LOVE travel journals cause then I can be there WITH you...plus in his case it's good for my French!

Ahem. So I thought I would take advantage of this time to create a little journal thread of my own....A MONTH WITHOUT MAURICE.

Ok, so you are joined at the hop like Siamese twins and then you are AMPUTATED. At first you feel no pain....due to the shock, but it sets in later....

The most we've been apart is 8 days when he went to Egypt. After 5 days I'm really dismayed by HOW MANY DAYS ARE LEFT.

Ok, well. Back to me. Day 1 - Took Maurince to the aiport at 5 in the frkinning AM. NO, not a misprint. Then went to a FUNERAL. Then MOVED OUT of M's house. (Don't worry, I'll move back in the day before he gets home). Slept like a dead woman.

Day 2- Back to work, ugg. Partied with clients until 1am. Felt no pain.

Pluses - I can go to sleep with the TV on if I want. I can watch the Tour de France (but today is the last day!), the cats get to see me.

Negatives - well, too many to list really. Maggie misses M that's for sure. While I think this might be a good experience for me, theoretically, a bowel cleansing is also theortetically a good experience but not especially FUN. That is how I feel.

Seriously, I am looking forward to rediscovering myself as something more than M's girlfriend. I'll keep you posted.

Day 3 - Work, saw an old friend. Fell asleep talking to her.

Day 4- Went to the doctor. Tried to find M's credit card for him, Saw another old friend, felt no pain.

Day 5 - Work, wired %% to M for his school (long story!) dinner at Lavendou (YUMM, FOIS GRAS). Partied with friends. Felt no pain.

Day 6 - The pain sets in, ouch, physically and psycologically. Realizing how many days are left.

Hurrah! I "graduated" back to my functional brace....from the full leg "monster" brace. My leg feels so free...!

The downside is everytime there is a change it commences to hurt again....less support and more movement I suppose. I've also been warned to as many people re-tear about this time - they get to feeling good and do too much. I'll have to watch myself as I am probably a prime candidate for re-injury.

Got to see my xrays - I have three peices of metal in my leg...one will reabsorb, how freaky is that! The other two - well, one is about the size and shape of a filing cabinet key and the other resembles a small screw. Wonder if I will set off airport security in future.

Weird stuff.

Fin.

There is a small consolation to being parted from M and staying in the apt....I HAVE VERSUS AND CAN WATCH THE TOUR DE FRANCE....!

Very SMALL consolation, in fact. I miss him sooooo much. He called last night, it was so good to hear his voice.

MUAH, Maurice. Je t'aime/

Took some tennis photos of my FF (favotire frenchman) mostly to drool over his general hotness but also to practice my high speed shutter mode. Thought I would share my favs.

But, I'm not sure just WHAT he is doing here? (JK, cropping can be fun).

My favorite Frenchman is preparing to spend a month in Japan, prompting reams of lists of things to do (for him).

I don't know whether to be gratified or horrified that I made the list. (Just WHY did I make the list?? I hope it's for a fun activity!!)

Anyway, Tide outranks me but at least I am before the Kitchen Brush. And I am in capital letters, too.

If you have one of these you are a member of a very small club, cuase the only way you get one of these is to have your ACL repaired.

So I've had total random enoucters with jock types since the surgery. The last one was with a huge WALL of a guy, at Jake's who came up to me and grabbed the door.

ACL, right? He asked.
Yup, I replied...skiing. How did you do yours?
Football, he answered. (Course I knew that!! Just look at the guy!)
Worst Pain I Ever Had in My Life, he added.

THANK YOU.

PS - You learn quickly in PT that to "do something until you FEEL THE STRETCH" means "DO IT UNTIL YOU HAVE HORRIBLE AWFUL PAIN".

Anyway, here's a couple of photos of the monster brace along with my favorite Frenchman.

Remember how in the factories you'd see a sign that read "xx days accident free" or something like that?

Well M and I are now up to 3, yes, counte them, 3 (THREE) FIGHT FREE DAYS (FFDs).

It's a record. I actually record them on the calendar.

My knee surgery is behind me. I had really dreaded it.

The night after surgery I kept dreaming I hadn't yet HAD the surgery, yuk.

It hurts now, badly, the percocets help some, the advil helps even more.

I am writing to complement my anethesiologist, or my "pilot" as it were.

Little thought is given to these guys. You pick your surgeon but you anethsia guy is either luck of the draw or if you are lucky it's someoe your surgeon knows and likes.

And it can be a rusty bicycle or a Cadillac sedan.

This time I got the Cadillac sedan, pre-medcated to just the perect pitch, a smooth and seamless transition into "sleep" and then awakening as if I'd had a nice nap. No nausea.

Well done and thank you. It really IS all about a personal touch.

I have a lovely new apartment in an upscale urban development, surrounded by pretty people.

I don't live there very much, it's more like a large expensive closet.

But it has an amenity I love. The garbage chute.

I feel all cosmopolitan and urban when I dispose of my cat litter now. ;-)

I've said for years now that we need a good plague to cull the population. Trouble is, it needs to target all the stupid and bigoted and narrow minded people in the world. I doubt the swine flu is that selective.

I hope I am wrong but this may in fact be the real thing. At a minimum, if it really is as contagious as they say due to lack of herd immunity and the possible shortage of antivirals, it surely can't help the economy. Already we are seeing cancellations of group events. It just simply can do nothing but slow down the recovery at this point.

But. Speaking of plagues, the Old Testament God, now he really knew how to throw a plague. Boils, Blood, Death of Firstborn, you name it. Not fun to be an Egyptian THAT week you can bet.

Anyway, in the midst of all this, I found THIS at Wally World. Of course, I thought it was a joke but quickly realized it wasn't, as it was with all of the other Passover paper goods, decorations, etc.

No children under 3!




If you find you are a bit rusty on your plagues, the back of the package expains it all. Fun stuff. Enjoy!

So I am doing these knee exercises, which are like baby things anyway, but my God, they keep referring to the "afflicted" side and the "afflicted" limb.

I've never been among the "afflicted" before, Mon Dieu.

I've been attempting to help M organize his Maison a bit in my non-existent spare time. Some of the stuff he had in the pantry was pretty scary.

So I asked him about it, and he went into this long shpiel about how it should be kept and used even though it 1) looked bad and 2) expired some years ago. I should have known. That famous French frugality, especially of the older generation.

Quickly realizing I had forgotten the cardinal rule, I went about quietly throwing things away. He'll never notice.

Ask Forgiveness not Permission.

Well I am officially 1/2 cybog now, check out the bionic knee! (Goes well with my bluetooth).

Seriously, it cost like $1,200 and works mostly pretty well unless you do stupid things like stand on chairs trying to get free stuff at Gaybingo.

Then it doesn't work at all, your leg collapes with much pain and you are very very sorry.

No chairs.

There are two silver linings to having to navigate with crutches.

1. You get a handicapped placard, that TOTALLY ROCKS.
2. You get to ride around on those motorized carts. You soon learn that they are not all created equal. I've found the fastest to be at Albertsons and the slowest at Kroger....I mean I wanted to get off and drag the thing behind me on crutches.

Walmart and Sams are about middle of the road.

You get to ride the cart out to your car and someone brings it in for you. Sweet.

Well, not really, this is all a HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS, everything takes about 10X as long and you can't wear heels, blah blah blah.

I knew it had been a long time since my last post....but a MONTH, my GOD.

Well, I have HUAS (Head up ass syndrome) at the moment with Maurice. In French one would say "j'ai mon nez dans son anus..."

Not that that is a bad thing at at certain point you know.

Couple that with MAJOR problems at work and the fact that I am on crutches with a skiing injury (severed ACL and torn MCL) and I am not just myself, what can I say.

My upper body rocks though, between all the upper body I am doing at the gym and the crutches.

The 28 yo who did my hair Sat asked me out. I still got it, even on crutches.

Love you all. XXXOOO

Dropped in on the local "con" (anime convention) for a few yesterday to cheer on Jesse and sidekick daughter Kelsy in the competition.

I've never really been this close to a con before....as suspected, it is full of nerds, but I have to say this, they all seemed like happy nerds and enjoying what they were doing. So rock on, ya'll. At least you are out socializing and not sitting in front of your computer or your video game.....

Anyway, here's a nice photo souvenir of the moment.

It's good to be a small part of my daughter's life. Thanks for suggesting this, C. You are a good friend.

When I was, I don't know, 12 or 13, I was an unlovely child.

Somewhere I saw this jacket, it was leather and fringed, maybe I saw it on TV, I don't know. It was the early 70s and it was the coolest thing I had ever seen.

I wanted one so badly, but it was not to be had in the burg where I lived. But that Christmas, my brother in law brought me back one from Mexico.

And when I got it, I put it on. And for the first time in my life I felt COOL. I WASN'T, of course, but I felt that way when I wore the jacket.

I don't know what became of it, lost along the way somewhere. But in Taos New Mexico, I found it again.

And I feel cool. This time I didn't need the jacket to feel that way. But it was a good feeling nevertheless. :-)